Modern Love

Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater

Trust is an integral part of a relationship, and once sabotaged, is very difficult to repair. Being okay after you find out that your partner cheated on you is very hard, and in most cases, the relationship never remains the same.

In modern love, the definition of cheating may not be the same for everyone. The easiest way to identify if a certain act is classified as cheating is if it hurts you badly. It can be emotional, physical, or even virtual now (it’s as easy as a swipe right, swipe left).

Have you ever thought about it? If your partner ever cheated on you, what will you do?

According to the research of Neil Garett “The Brain adapts to dishonesty”, when dishonesty is self-serving i.e. the one being dishonest is driving some benefit out of it, it is likely to escalate overtime instead of remaining constant.

“The findings uncover a biological mechanism that supports the ‘slippery slope’: what begins as small acts of dishonesty can escalate into larger transgressions.”

Which means that cheating stops causing remorse in a person if repeated overtime especially when the cheater is driving some value out of it, even if it is causing harm to others. Hence, when they say ‘once a cheater always a cheater’, they may be partly right. This means an attempt to stay together might be futile because if a person has cheated once, it will be easier giving in to temptation next time the person is faced with one.

The flip side of the coin is, Cheating is a sign of a fading relationship. The cheater may not be the only one to be blamed. Partners usually cheat when they are not happy with their relationship. The reasons can be manifold; boredom, not enough sex, long distance, too many fights, lack of communication, basically every reason why a relationship is not working can drive a partner towards somebody else.

Even though nothing can justify cheating, you still have a choice of how to deal with it. Do you want to take this jolt as a chance to fix the fundamentals of your relationship, or do you want to just give up. Married couples usually try to make it work because of the kids, or the pressure to readjust to a new life.


So, should you give up on the relationship altogether? 

1. If they did not actually feel bad about it, they will do it again. No point prolonging the misery.
2. If you think your relationship was going great, then he was just bored. Such hurtful pass times are not something that you can afford.
3. Some men are only into ‘aesthetics’; which means they will never be satisfied with settling. They like the initial charms of the relationship, but are not made for the longer run. Let go.
4. If you can see true misery on their faces because you found out, it means that they love you and are hurt by the pain that they have caused you – it is not too late. Human beings can falter sometimes. Let them make the amends, and decide along the way if it is still worth it
5. If they blamed you for it, they are an asshole anyway